The 5 W's of Google

-Elliott Kennedy

Online procrastination is the leading cause of marginal grades and failed study sessions in the United States. It leads to unfinished papers, abandoned textbooks, and partial projects. How many times have you started studying for an exam, only to magically end up browsing the wall of your Facebook page? How many times have you started writing an essay, but soon find yourself Tweeting about this f&*%! assignment instead?

And now there’s yet another way to wile away the hours.

Think back to your elementary school days, with spelling tests and model planets, and personal narratives that included the five W’s: who, what, where, when, why. And how. When you type one of these words into your web browser, a drop-down menu appears with top hits… but have you ever looked at these options? I mean, really looked at them? Some are funny. Some make you question the current state of the American education system. But all of them will make you laugh and give you welcome relief from the drudgery of homework.

Here are a few top hits from my own adventures with the Five W’s of Google.

Who:

  • Who un-followed me
  • Who wants to be a millionaire
  • Who v. whom
  • Who sampled
  • Who invented the internet

What:

  • What does my name mean
  • What is occupy wall street
  • What time is it
  • What is planking
  • What does SMH mean

Where:

  • Where’s George
  • Where is Chuck Norris
  • Where’s Waldo
  • Where them girls at
  • Where the wild things are
  • Where is my mind

When:

  • When is Halloween
  • When parents text
  • When to use a semi-colon
  • When to harvest hops
  • When to work

Why:

  • Why is the sky blue
  • Why do cats purr
  • Why are manhole covers round
  • Why do men cheat
  • Why not zoidberg

How:

  • How to tie a tie
  • How to write a cover letter
  • How to hard boil eggs
  • How much should I weigh
  • How to cook quinoa

Or better yet, how will you get back to studying now that you’re most likely redirecting the browser to try the Five W’s of Google on your own computer?

 

 

Online procrastination is the leading cause of marginal grades and failed study sessions in the United States. It leads to unfinished papers, abandoned textbooks, and partial projects. How many times have you started studying for an exam, only to magically end up browsing the wall of your Facebook page? How many times have you started writing an essay, but soon find yourself Tweeting about this f&*%! assignment instead?

And now there’s yet another way to wile away the hours.

Think back to your elementary school days, with spelling tests and model planets, and personal narratives that included the five W’s: who, what, where, when, why. And how. When you type one of these words into your web browser, a drop-down menu appears with top hits… but have you ever looked at these options? I mean, really looked at them? Some are funny. Some make you question the current state of the American education system. But all of them will make you laugh and give you welcome relief from the drudgery of homework.

Here are a few top hits from my own adventures with the Five W’s of Google.

Who:

  • Who un-followed me
  • Who wants to be a millionaire
  • Who v. whom
  • Who sampled
  • Who invented the internet

What:

  • What does my name mean
  • What is occupy wall street
  • What time is it
  • What is planking
  • What does SMH mean

Where:

  • Where’s George
  • Where is Chuck Norris
  • Where’s Waldo
  • Where them girls at
  • Where the wild things are
  • Where is my mind

When:

  • When is Halloween
  • When parents text
  • When to use a semi-colon
  • When to harvest hops
  • When to work

Why:

  • Why is the sky blue
  • Why do cats purr
  • Why are manhole covers round
  • Why do men cheat
  • Why not zoidberg
  • Why

How:

  • How to tie a tie
  • How to write a cover letter
  • How to hard boil eggs
  • How much should I weigh
  • How to cook quinoa

Or better yet, how will you get back to studying now that you’re most likely redirecting the browser to try the Five W’s of Google on your own computer?

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