- The past Queens gather and let the bribes begin, as this year marks the 28th year of the Slug Queen coronation.
At the height of each summer, the central stage of Eugene, Oregon’s downtown park blocks becomes the setting for one of the slimiest competitions on earth. Ooze slides off the stage as contestants demonstrate their talents, sing songs about gastropods, and increase their chances of winning with vote-swaying bribes.
Reactions among spectators vary wildly. Some stand frozen, blinking for reality, while others laugh uncontrollably amid the chaos and confusion of hysterical ooze. It’s the annual coronation of the Eugene Slug Queen—a tradition of the strange and hilarious that could only find place in Eugene, Oregon.
SLUG: The Society for the Legitimization of the Ubiquitous Gastropod
Why does the world need Slug Queens?
2000: Queen Accordionna:
“The world needs Slug Queens because this competition is inclusive. Anyone can run. You can be 85, or an accordion player.”
- Queen Accordionna won the judges over in 2000 by singing a parody of “Swinging on a Star” while playing her trademark accordion.
2004: Queen Scarlett O’Slimera:
“The world needs Slug Queens because they keep us young at heart.”
- During her 2004 coronation, Queen Scarlett O’Slimera promised the city: “As God is my witness, there will never be hunger for food, frolic or fun.”
2006: Queen Slugretha Latifah Uleafa Gastropodia Jackson:
“The world needs Slug Queens because they add pageantry and glamour and teach us the humor in life.”
- 2006 Queen Slugretha Latifah Uleafa Gastropodia Jackson sang “Chain of Slugs” to Aretha Franklin’s “Chain of Fools” during her talent portion of the contest.
2008: Queen Mary Slugtoinette:
“The world needs Slug Queens because Slug Queens symbolize the joy of living in Eugene. They unite all of Eugene through humor—both groovy old guard ‘Eugeniuses’ and edgy new comers love our unique, icky icon.”
- 2008 Queen Mary Slugtoinette credits her win to her excellent bribes, which leave the other Queens still boasting about her.
2009: “Raining Queen” Queen Anislugsia:
“We show the world that people can have fun in royalty. It’s not all scandal. Well, we have scandals—but they’re fun scandals—they’re scandalicious.”
- Anislugsia, the reigning Queen, is the sixth man to be named Slug Queen.
A Brief History:
It began as a simple and fun-loving protest. It was 1983 and Eugene, Oregon was looking to create a new annual festival to unify the city and bring people downtown. The city council discussed using the name of an older Eugene festival, called The Trail to Rail Celebration, but decided the name and idea were outdated. Finally, the city decided on the name Eugene Celebration—a name many local Eugeneans found boring.
Local cartoonist, Paul Ollswang, first suggested the name Slugfest, and with a spirit of protest, the idea caught on. Alana Probst, Council Woman Cynthia Wooten, Karl Eysenbach, and other friends, organized the first Slug Queen pageant. It was held in Probst’s own garden and was open to both men and women. After selecting their first Slug Queen, Queen Bruce, the group built a giant slug and entered it in the first Eugene Celebration parade. It took thirty-five people to move the slug along the parade route—and the crowd loved it. Since then, Eugene has enjoyed twenty-seven Slug Queens and each one has championed a local, non-profit agency while bringing flair and unique talent to the monarchy. Since 1991, the annual coronation has been organized by Kim Still, who also manages Eugene’s Saturday Market. The 2010 coronation will be held August 13th.
Slug Queen Etiquette:
Rule number one: Once a Queen, always a Queen
Rule number two: Always defer to the “Raining Queen”
Rule number three: Bribe early, bribe often
Rule number four: There are no rules
Raining Queen: The current monarch
Old Queen: Any Queen elected within the last ten years
Very Old Queen: Any Queen elected within the last fifteen years
Exquisitely Old Queen: Any Queen elected within the last twenty years
27 Queens: The complete list (information courtesy slugqueen.com)
2009 Queen Anislugsia
2008 Queen Marie Slugtoinette
2007 Queen Glorious Gastropause (Silver Jubilee)
2006 Queen Slugretha Latifah Uleafa Gastrapodia Jackson
2005 Queen Frank SlugSnotra
2004 Queen Scarlett O’Slimera
2003 Queen Inspira Gastropodium
2002 Queen Radia
2001 Queen Darcy Du Ruz
2000 Queen Accordionna
1999 Queen Carmen
1998 Queen Peterella
1997 Queen Bagonda
1996 Queen Slima-Gadda-Da-Vida-Baby
1995 Queen Stella Slimalata
1994 Queen Marionberry
1993 Queen Bananita Sluginsky
1992 Queen Zinnia
1991 Queen Marigold Gastropoedia
1990 Queen Slugaretta
1989 Queen Slimelda
1988 Queen Margaret
1987 Queen Dave
1986 Queen Kathy
1985 The Queen Mum aka Queen Glenda
1984 Queen Melva
1983 Queen Bruce
Queen Melva from ’84 was my high school English teacher. I love Eugene culture.
Well done thou skilled and imaginative wordsmith, well done. What can one say to top off an ode to God’s slick and slimey slugs? Tis at best a demonstration of slugdemonian psssion. Oh tis fair and useful craft this tome to tell of slugs gone wild.
Karl